Gottman Method Couples Therapy
in Sorrento Valley | San Diego, CA
Practical, proven tools to create lasting change, so you don’t slip back into old patterns.
Struggling to move from gridlock to dialogue, even after trying couples therapy?
Are you still feeling…
Stuck in perpetual arguments that never seem to move forward
Unclear about what to do differently to create real change
Longing for your partner to truly understand you
Unsure what you’re supposed to take away from previous therapy
Gottman Method Couples Therapy
A well researched Method to turn insights into actions.
Gottman Method was developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. Their years of research led to the identification of key behaviors that predict relationship success or failure. In other words, those couples who are the “masters” or the “disasters” of relationships.
It teaches couples how to understand their communication patterns, reduce conflict, and rebuild trust and connection. It is grounded in the Sound Relationship House theory, Using the House metaphor, it outlines the essential components of a strong relationship, like friendship, emotional intimacy, trust, and shared meaning. Through practical, science-backed tools, couples learn how to repair after disagreements, stay connected during difficult moments, and build a relationship that feels secure, respectful, and loving.
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Build love maps: This is the first floor of the Sound Relationship House and involves couples getting to know one another's inner psychological worlds.
Share fondness and admiration: On this floor, couples learn to overtly express appreciation and respect for each other to strengthen their bond.
Turn towards, not away: This floor involves learning to notice when one's partner is seeking attention, affection, and comfort and responding accordingly.
The positive perspective: This floor helps partners learn to see one another positively, enabling them to see errors as matters of circumstance, not failures of the individual.
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Manage conflict: On this floor, couples learn to manage conflict through a three-step process. First, partners take each other's feelings into account. Next, partners learn to discuss their problems. Finally, when a partner starts to feel overwhelmed during conflict, they learn techniques to self-soothe to keep their cool.
Make life dreams come true: The second to last floor centers on supporting and championing one's partner in their dreams and goals.
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Create shared meaning: The top floor mirrors the first floor in that it involves understanding an inner world, but in this case, it's the couple's inner world and entails uncovering the rituals and stories that have shared meaning for them.
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Trust and commitment: The two weight-bearing walls of the Sound Relationship House help couples work through the seven floors. Trust enables couples to believe they can rely on one another and feel like they're a team, and commitment means couples have agreed to stick together and improve their relationship.
Each floor of the Sound Relationship House represents an opportunity for couples to develop new skills that will strengthen their relationship. Gottman therapists use this theory to drive their work with couples.
Why the Gottman Method Is at the Heart of My Work
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Why the Gottman Method Is at the Heart of My Work *
Couples work is incredibly powerful, and over the years, one approach has consistently stood out in my work: The Gottman Method. It is rooted in decades of research and gives couples practical, science backed tools that actually create change.
As a therapist, I love this method because it brings clarity, structure, and direction, especially for couples who feel stuck or unsure how to move forward.
From Drs. John and Julie’s research came concepts like the “masters” and “disasters” of relationships, and the communication patterns (like the Four Horsemen) that can erode connection over time. For me, knowing that I’m using strategies backed by real data, not just theory, gives me confidence, and it helps couples trust the process too.
Clear, practical communication tools
Most couples don’t struggle because they lack love; they struggle because conflict feels overwhelming. The Gottman Method teaches couples exactly how to communicate during difficult moments.
This includes understanding the Four Horsemen—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, and learning healthy alternatives that promote respect and understanding.
I value this piece deeply. Once couples understand these tools, their conversations shift. They interrupt old patterns, misunderstandings decrease, and dialogue becomes more productive and compassionate.
The Gottman Method doesn’t just help couples repair conflicts, it teaches them how to prevent those patterns from returning.
The Sound Relationship House: a roadmap for connection
One of my favorite parts of this approach is the Sound Relationship House Theory, which outlines the essential components of a strong relationship, from trust and commitment to shared meaning, friendship, and emotional intimacy.
I often tell couples:
“Building a relationship is like building a house. You need a strong foundation before you can add the rest.”
This framework does exactly that. It helps couples understand what keeps their relationship stable, how to reconnect emotionally, and how to remain strong even during stressful seasons of life.
It also gives couples practical ways to become “masters” of relationships rather than “disasters.”
More than fixing problems - it helps you thrive
What I love most is that the Gottman Method isn’t only about resolving conflict. It’s about building a relationship that feels fulfilling, intimate, and resilient.
Couples learn how to:
Turn toward each other rather than away
Create rituals of connection
Build admiration and fondness
Deepen emotional and physical intimacy
These positive habits strengthen the relationship from the inside out.
Practical skills you can use for life
The Gottman Method is very practical. Couples don’t have to change their personalities or become someone new. Instead, they learn small, consistent shifts that make a big difference, like responding to bids for connection, staying curious during conflict, and creating emotional safety.
The most rewarding part for me is watching couples have those “lightbulb moments”, when they finally understand their dynamic and begin using new tools that actually work outside the therapy room. It simply “clicks” for them.
Helping couples build a lasting, loving relationship, and truly become “masters” of their relationship, is one of the greatest privileges of my work.
What Couples Can Expect in Gottman Therapy…
A Clear, Structured Approach
Gottman therapy gives couples a roadmap, so you always know why we’re doing something and how it supports your relationship. After the assessment phase, your sessions follow a structured process designed to strengthen friendship, reduce conflict, and rebuild trust.
1. A Thorough Assessment to Understand Your Relationship
You begin with the joint session, individual interviews, and the Gottman Relationship Checkup, to understand your strengths, stressors, values, cultural background, and the patterns that keep you stuck. This helps us identify exactly where the gridlock lives, and what needs support.
2. Learning Tools That Create Immediate Change
Couples learn research backed tools to:
Communicate more effectively
Reduce criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling
Repair after arguments
Create emotional safety
Strengthen friendship and admiration
These tools are simple, practical, and easy to use at home between sessions.
3. Coaching and Guidance During Difficult Conversations
You won’t be left to figure things out on your own. During sessions, I coach you through the kinds of conversations that normally escalate into conflict. We slow things down, identify the deeper needs underneath the reactions, and practice healthier ways of reaching each other.
Couples often describe this as the first time they truly feel heard, and are able to hear each other.
4. Moving From Gridlock to Dialogue
Many couples come in feeling stuck in perpetual problems. The same arguments with no resolution. Using Gottman tools, you learn how to:
Turn gridlocked issues into open dialogue
Share dreams, fears, and longing
Listen without becoming defensive
Understand each other’s meaning beneath the issue
This creates a sense of teamwork instead of opposition.
5. Strengthening the Foundation of Your Relationship
We also spend time building the core elements of the Sound Relationship House, including:
Trust and commitment
Fondness and admiration
Friendship and connection
Shared rituals, meaning, and goals
Gottman therapy doesn’t just stop the negative patterns, it strengthens the positive ones that help your relationship thrive and prevent relapse into old patterns.
6. Practical Homework to Reinforce Progress
You’ll leave sessions with simple practices to try at home. These aren’t burdensome tasks. They're small, meaningful steps that help maintain momentum and prevent slipping back into old patterns.
You’re worth the investment.
Repair Conflicts More Effectively
Use practical tools to de-escalate tension, repair after arguments, and prevent resentment from building.
Move From Gridlock to Dialogue
Learn how to talk about perpetual issues without getting stuck, and understand the deeper dreams and meanings underneath conflict.
Reduce the Four Horsemen
Replace criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling with healthier communication patterns that support connection.
Rebuild Trust & Emotional Safety
Develop the skills to repair broken trust, heal past hurts, and create a more secure foundation moving forward.
Strengthen Friendship & Fondness
Build rituals of connection, appreciation, and shared meaning, key components of the Sound Relationship House.
Feel like teammates again as you hold space for each partner’s goals, values, and aspirations.
Tools You Can Use for Life
Leave each session with practical skills and exercises you can use right away to maintain your progress at home.
Support Each Other’s Hopes & Dreams
WHAT IF YOU CAN….
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Ready to Strengthen Your Relationship With Gottman Therapy?
Let’s work together to build the trust, communication, and connection you’ve been longing for.